Today (September 18) I turn 30 years old.
I don’t normally make a big deal about my birthday but this time I just thought it would help someone if I shared some of the lessons life has taught me so far.
This post is for you, yes you.
30 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 30 Years
- Life is unpredictable. It’s a bit of fate here and a bit of planning there, some miracle in the distant but you can never tell with certainty which one will work out or when. Just be prepared and know that anything is possible.
- Sometimes all life gives you is one chance. One chance to seize that opportunity, one chance to be with that person, one chance to make things right. If one chance is all life gives you, utilize it and make sure you won’t regret.
- Forgive, forgive and forgive again. You will live longer and peacefully. You are going to be hurt badly and probably by those you love the most. Sometimes they are not going to ask you for forgiveness but you will have to forgive them anyway, life is too short to hold on to grudges.
- Life is a wheel in motion. When the dark side is facing you, the brighter one is facing somebody else but do not fret, your turn to face the brighter side will come also.
- Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it comes and goes but at times it makes abode and you have to find a way to live with it without allowing it to hurt you so much.
- The only constant thing in this life is change. Everything can and will change, even yourself. You will live a very disappointing life if you expect things to remain the same. Human beings change, circumstances change so always be prepared for change. Days and seasons will never be the same. Some days will be like stone and some will be like a diamond, you just need to learn how to embrace each. On other days you will feel like life is too short and on others, you will wonder why death takes so long to come. Don’t beat yourself about it, embrace them all.
- Happiness will not come after achieving something great, the feeling of accomplishment never lasts long enough to be equated to happiness. If you cannot be happy without anything, you will never be happy with everything. Happiness is a state of mind and not a result of accomplishments. We often kill our happiness by desiring that which we don’t have. Most of the time, we have more to be grateful for than that which we desire. So before you complain about what you don’t have, take time to first appreciate what you have. You may end up realizing your life is not as awful as you imagine it.
- Relationships and love are more important than possessions, invest in them. Possessions are toxic, don’t spend too much of your time worrying about them. They are like visitors, they come and go. Invest in fruitful relationships, across genders, races, and borders. Life is more beautiful when shared with others. Love as much as you can. Chances are, in most cases it won’t end well but love anyway.
- A big ego is too much of a burden to carry, you are not invincible so shed it off. Life happens to everyone. You are not entitled to anything in this life so be humble, accept being wronged and apologize for your own wrongdoings. Choose your battles wisely, some battles are better left unfought. Things are not always going to happen your way, but that’s okay. They don’t have to happen your way always. Sometimes you will need patience because they are going to take a while and at times you will need acceptance because they are not going to happen at all.
- You only have one life to live on this earth and every second you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is a second you are subtracting from your life. The past is gone, the future is not yet here so all we have is now to live. Live every second in the present and appreciate life.
- Never compare your life to that of the next person, that’s a sure way to kill your joy. Most of the times people never allow you to see the whole picture of their lives, they only let you see the side they want to show you and trust me, it’s the loveliest of them all. So stop comparing all your life’s sides with one loveliest side from someone else because you will be depressed. Everyone has their dark sides which they hide from people. Live your own life and enjoy the blessings that come with it. You cannot and you will never have everything that you need in life. Accept what you have and make the best out of it, find joy in what you have.
12. If life gives you family, treasure it. Family is important, spend time with your loved ones because they are the only ones who care. Family is not about relations, it’s about those who value you and are willing to be there for you. Unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who should care for you, all you can do is appreciate with honest gratitude those who do. Because it’s a conscious decision they make to care for you.
13. Be grateful and be compassionate. Give what you can, we all have something to give. The best form of gratitude is through giving. Nothing is given for us to keep, everything we get in this life is given to us to enjoy for a short while but not to keep. We come with nothing and we leave with nothing and take note, giving is not all about material things. Some of the best gifts in this world are not in monetary value; love, attention.
Whenever you can help someone, do not withhold it, it may seem like nothing to you but you will never know the impact that it will have on the other person’s life. We all have those celebrated ‘passing heroes’ in our lives, who just come when we need something and leave before we can even get a chance to know or thank them.
14. Always try to move away from judging people. Awesome human beings are those who embrace human differences and respect all people the same. You are going to have different views and opinions even with the people you love but that should not change your relationship status. Allow people around you to be themselves if you do that you will see your circle widening.
- Your mind is your powerhouse. Be open to advice but be your own person. In this life, nobody is sure of anything. Everybody tries to find relevance in gaining the mob to support their own thoughts. Always understand the worldview of things but never stop questioning. Do not let anybody dictate your life for you. Don’t believe everything the world tells you but also most importantly, don’t believe everything you think. Assumptions are the worst destructive kind of thinking you can ever have. Remember to question your own rules, principles, and beliefs too.
16. Do not make any decisions when you are angry or excited, that’s the source of most regrets. The best kind of decisions are made outside the emotion zone.
- If you know your value then display it. Do not sell yourself at a discounted price and expect the world to feel pity for you. Put the correct price tag on yourself, you will attract the right buyers and scare away chancers.
18. Never make excuses for people. If you feel that somebody isn’t treating you right, 99% of the time, they aren’t. If you feel that somebody isn’t loving or respecting you, 99% of the time they aren’t. The more you make excuses for people, the more you teach them to ill-treat you. Growth happens outside your comfort zone, accept reality, that’s the only way you will gather strength to grow. Above all, never put any human being on a pedestal, they will disappoint you. If you put human beings on a pedestal, you are setting them up for failure
19. Living a perfect life is a burden. Life is an experience, it’s more of an adventure, many a time you are going to find yourself tripping on the wrong path. But that’s okay because mistakes show that you are trying something new so don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Actually, make as many mistakes as you can and above all, learn from those mistakes.
- The cure to worry is through asking yourself, will this matter in the next couple of hours, days, weeks, months or years’ time. If the answer is no then stop worrying about it because this too shall pass.
21. If you want to build trust with people,
- Learn to respect your word. Fulfill your word, stand by your word and never deny your word. If you can’t do something, don’t promise to do it and if you promise to do something, do it! Kindly express how you feel. Anything said with kindness, can be accepted, no matter how painful. Learn to say the truth politely, it’s better than pleasing people with lies because they are short-lived.
- Be honest but do not try to convince people of your truth. Be honest, with yourself, be honest with people but allow people to believe what they want. It’s not your duty to convince people, your duty is to tell them the truth but what they do with it is their own business. So waste no time trying to convince people because, after all the convincing, they will still believe what they want to believe.
In the same vein of being honest, if you borrow money, even from your spouse or relative, return it.
- Do not expect reciprocation in the way you treat people, you will be disappointed. Be polite and kind without expecting anything in return. Do not expect people to treat you the same way you treat them. The way you think and do things will differ greatly from other people. Even if you treat people right but lower your expectations about them, that way you will live a happy and less disappointed life. Even those you have sacrificed so much for, are capable of giving you the worst treatment in return but always remember, you were not doing it to receive a favor, otherwise then it was a business transaction. You were doing it because it’s who you are.
- Never ever use your position of power or elevation to abuse, punish or revenge on those who have wronged you!!! God places you in a higher position to test you. Whatever you do in that position, you are being examined, so be careful.
- No matter who you are, you are not better than any other human being. Treat everyone with respect! Never make any person feel insignificant or inadequate, you are not above anyone. Stop stereotyping people because of their country of origin, their gender, their profession, their educational background, the color of their skin or the material things they possess. Net worth and self-worth are two different things, never confuse them. People don’t care much about what you know than about how you treat and make them feel. They may forget what you did for them but rarely do people forget how you made them feel.
- Do not give room to fear. Most of the times your fears are not as big in reality as they are in your imaginations. Confront your fears, what’s the worst that can happen? Embrace the worst that could possibly happen and confront your fears anyway.
- Appreciate others. Never hold back a sincere compliment.
You can’t be the best in everything if you want to grow, acknowledge others. Better be the dumbest person in the room and learn everything you can than to be the wisest and learn nothing. There will always be someone more loving, funnier, more educated, more handsome, more successful and more talented, smarter than you and the opposite is equally true but the truth is, it doesn’t have any relevance on you so appreciate everyone.
- Haters and critics are there to stay. No matter how good you are, or how well you treat others, someone is still gonna hate and criticize you. At the end of the day, just know that most of the times people hate you not because of what you do but how they feel about you. Some people are intimidated by you and for that, they resort to hate instead of trying to match up with you and you can’t do anything about it. Most of the times those who resent you are your biggest admirers, they want to be like you or have what you have. Even if you are the sweetest cane in the field, there is still going to be someone who doesn’t like sugar.
- Master your finances. Although money is not everything, it surely stands in many gaps. Money buys you freedom and opportunities in life. If you think money is evil, try poverty. If money wasn’t important, you wouldn’t work 5 to 7 days a week. If you don’t want to be a slave to money, then learn everything you can to master it.
- Life is too brief. Do what you love, do it well and do it lovingly.
- If you want to lead then you should read. You have learned about these 30 lessons in a couple of minutes by just reading but it took me 30 good years to learn them. Learning never ends for as long as we are alive. The best knowledge you can ever have is that you know nothing therefore always be open to learning new things. There are no graduates in life, we will all die learners so embrace every opportunity you have to learn. Every person you meet knows something that you don’t.
I would love to hear from you so please write back to me and if this was helpful to you, kindly share it with someone.